Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize