Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
