no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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