I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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