and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
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