Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
