i think my mom watched the whole time
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
