shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize