We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
