My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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