The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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