Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
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Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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