Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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