I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
