wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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