just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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