I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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