didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
He kissed a someone with a penis
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Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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