can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
