I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize