Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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