mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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