You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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