eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
My bed smells like the plague
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
