Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
