butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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