i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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