He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I can't turn off my feet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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