Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
i believe in u and ur pee
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
