We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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