Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
