they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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