my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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