I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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