How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
How does one acquire holy water?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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