she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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