ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
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