I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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