meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize