im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
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