My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize
