i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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