Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
