I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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