Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
