super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
