She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
