ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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