were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
