Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
