I'm jealous of your bromance
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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