Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
