If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize