How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
