oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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