Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
