Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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