Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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