Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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