And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
we're so committed to being not committed
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize