Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
