I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
